It has always been my belief that I would return to work someday, the question always was, when and where?
As a person in mental health recovery, I feared that I might not be able to handle the stress of the average job. I also feared that I might not be able to tolerate the average job, because I had negative memories of my time in the workforce: I did not like jobs in which I was over-worked, underpaid and which were, worst of all “dead end”. I desired advancement, dignity, money and glory.
When I joined Fountain House in July of 2015, I grew to love the work-ordered day, because, though it was a purely voluntary situation, there was much dignity in choosing my own hours, the work that I wanted to do, and the nature of the work, which I consider to be therapeutically, professionally and politically progressive. The colleague trainings were a godsend, because they involved intellectual labor, examination of the philosophy of work and even travel.
Nevertheless, some of us cannot live on fulfilling work alone: we need money and that is the primary reason I am returning to work: to pay off debt, pay bills, and earn money that may range from mere pocket cash to funds that I can invest in my life and my writing/activist career.
I still have fears that I might decompensate or simply be exploited by the marketplace, but I must overcome them so that I can build the life for myself that I always wanted to build.
It will take some luck—and a lot of hard work—but I think that I can succeed.
Here’s to re-employment in 2018!
Craig R. Bayer
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